ACT 6: Can I Make You Laugh?: That's What She Said.

December 05, 2020

ACT 6: Can I Make You Laugh?: That's What She Said.

Before we proceed:

This is completely fictional. It is also not intended to offend. Any resemblance to actual people or events is absolutely coincidental.

Let's goooo.

Round of applause as the lights come on.

*voiceover*
For the second day in a row... I present an afternoon of comedy tagged: Can I make you laugh?

It promises to be great, unless it sucks, which I doubt it would, but that's not the point. Keep scrolling, keep your eyes peeled for the punchlines and if you don't laugh... I mean... I tried.

Without further ado, I present... Me!

Curtains open

Background music: Sweet in the middle, can you do a split in the middle? Sit in the middle, I just wanna chook you like needle...

I walk out to the mic... I hear applause in my head even though I know you ain't clapping.

Hello! Wow. It was a lovely show yesterday. Nice reception. I love y'all.

Another round of applause.

Thank you!

What do you say we round up this two-day special with another afternoon of comedy?

Cheers from the audience

How could this possibly go wrong? 😂

I sip from my red cup that is filled with pepsi. I set the cup down on the stool and take the mic off the mic stand.

Alright...

So, in one of my previous shows, I detailed how competitive I am and how I turn the smallest things to competitions.

Well, it's happened again. Simple "that's what she said" o. See ehn... Let me explain.

So... It's a wonderful afternoon like this. I'm in bed with a beautiful girl and we're doing what two people do in bed. If you don't know what that is... we were playing Scrabble. Don't think too much 😂

Anyway, things are going well: she's shouting my name and giving me instructions 😂 and I'm just there singing Mayorkun's version of Ma Pariwo. She might as well pariwo.

The rogering continues and things get so intense that the right side of the bed bottoms out.

It's a small hindrance, but it shouldn't take too long to fix. I ask the babe if she has some tools and she points to the bottom drawer of her wardrobe at the other end of the room.

I quickly go grab a hammer and some nails. On my way back, I start wondering... Why does she have tools in her room? This must happen a lot. I shrug 😂 What's my own? I'll fix it and finish what I started.

I get to the bed and start hammering a nail into the wood. Clearly, she isn't impressed and I can't take that. In my mind I'm like...

I continue what I'm doing and she goes "hit it harder. Harder." and I smile. She has entered it. I go... "That's what you said."

I'm feeling so pleased with myself. She isn't complaining anymore and I quickly wrap it up.

Now... That should have been it. I should have just returned the tools and hurried back to bed, right?

I decide to brag. I say "that didn't take long."

And without missing a beat, she goes "that's what I said for each of the last two rounds."

Pause.

I'm like...

Now she's the one looking pleased and in my mind, I've put a target on her back. I slowly get back to bed and she decides to gloat.

She goes "that hit the spot" and I say "that's what you said." She goes "just stop" and I go "that's what you didn't say." She tries mocking me and says "that's huge" and I say "that's what you said".

She's pissed. 😂 I'm loving it. 😂

She goes "fuck me" and I go "that's what you keep saying" and I add a wink to it 😏😂. She goes "that's enough" and I say "that's what they said", pointing to the crew and the director.

They're there looking at us like...

I forgot to mention that we were making one of those videos that a lot of people around the world watch 👉🏽👈🏽. Yeah. I mean cartoons. 🥴😂.

Anyway, the director finally finds his voice and he's livid 😂 he starts cursing and complaining about how all we have to do is smash and go. No script, nothing and we were messing it up.

I try to talk and he goes "shut up and get in" and I go "that's what she said."

He has had enough. He goes "that's it. I'm done. Get out."

Me being me, I followed through and said "that's what your ex-wife said."

Anyway, I didn't get paid for that shoot, but I got two and a half rounds, the babe's number and we're planning to continue what we started after this show.