ACT 14: Can I Make You Laugh?: On-the-spot material

 Before we proceed:

This is completely fictional. It is also not intended to offend. Any resemblance to actual people or events is absolutely unintentional. 

Let's goooo.

Round of applause as the lights come on.

*voiceover*
For the fourth show this year... I present an afternoon of comedy tagged: Can I make you laugh?

It promises to be great, unless it sucks, which I doubt it would, but that's not the point. Keep scrolling, keep your eyes peeled for the punchlines and if you don't laugh... I mean... I tried.

Without further ado, I present... Me!

Curtains open

Background music: Of La La La, of Lagos. Gbas gbos. Set awọn. Mayor the rapper. Je m'appelle. Repetua. Debola. Mayor turn rapper...

I walk out to the mic... I hear applause in my head even though I know you ain't clapping.

Hello! Wow.

More applause.

It's 27 days into 2021 and good news...

I'm liking what God is doing for me so far. Making moves and just dominating. Ko easy. Wahala for who no get God o.

Also, please, wear a nose mask when you're outside, and if you don't have a reason to go out, stay inside.

Na God I take beg you. No use agidi spoil everybody own.

Another round of applause.

But enough with that. What do you say we try to bring some fun into your day with another afternoon of comedy?

More cheers from the audience

How could this possibly go wrong? 😂

I sip from my red cup that is filled with pepsi. I set the cup down on the stool and take the mic off the mic stand.

Alright...

First, it seems like a lot of people took exception with some of the things I said during the last show. 😂

I spoke on ghosts and snatching boyfriends, but the only thing that got y'all talking was I burn for you.

😂

Talmbout it's to show desire. 😂 It's deeper than I love you. 😂 It's exquisite.

Sorry o. Set awọn phasmatos incendia.

Sha sha sha 😂

I struggled to decide on what material to use last week, and I am struggling again this week. 

You people should help me and suggest some topics you'll like me to tackle nau 😭😂😂😂

Wo, this week, I shall waffle. 😂 Take it like that. Las las, you'll still laugh 😌

Let's do this.

Cheers from the audience as I sip from my cup of Pepsi.

Alright...

What shall I speak on first?

...

...

...

Yes! I still have nothing to say. 😂

Oh yes...

Valentine is coming. Where's your boyfriend/girlfriend? You're sitting in your house. LONELY!

😂

I have been seeing valentine packages and promo upandan. 

Wahala for who no be hard guy. So so tensioning 😂.

Me, I don't have anybody to buy for, and if you near me, I'll clear you 😂. No stress me.

All of you that have S/Os, you can't enjoy the single people soundtrack. 😂

To those of you that are still hoping, please, abandon all hope. 😂

Make everybody get out 😂.

Since December 2020, I've been seeing status updates with the caption "they don start."

😂

Kini ti yin? What's your own?

Make you do am if e easy. If you can't, gbójú 😂

Takes another sip from my cup of Pepsi.

What next? 😂

I'm legit just tryna think of what to talk about. It's 3:30 a.m.

I thought about drafting all my shows for the year at once, but what happens when gobe happens and I have solid material on it 😭😂.

Now, I'm fighting laziness 🥴😂

That's by the way sha.

Small Announcement:

I'm not buying anything for anybody on February 14. If you, however, want to buy things and give, I'm a cheerful receiver 😂.

Another sip from the cup of Pepsi.

Y'all ever just waiting for fight to start somewhere so that you can pour fuel, or is it just me? 😂

Like, you're just waiting for someone to loose guard, then you pounce and feed off the chaos. 😂

Don't blame me. I don't start fights, but to end fights no sweet. 🚶🏽‍♂️😂

And the fact that I'm always ready to give it to anybody and everybody hot hot... 😂

My motto is ija wa, ija o si: always guiding.

If you don't understand Yoruba, you'll soon need to hire translator o 😂

It means if there's a fight, if there's no fight: always guiding.

Someone from the crowd goes "you just like wahala"

Ateguned. Mfjpm 😂 Are you there? Are you there?

That overused siren from Nigerian comedy show plays.

😂

Omo, let me wrap up today's show and sleep. I've tried.

I'll try and make a planned one for next week, God keeping us. This week is just cruise. 😂

Downs the contents of my cup: Pepsi and ice.

Finally, y'all ever hear a question and go:

Because I have, and... 😂

Things dey occur.

Imagine someone asking me - a whole me - "who told you your fine?"

😒🙄

I first look around, then look at the individual:

And then, in typical, classy ME manner, I go...

As you can't see, I'm a billion specs rolled into one. Worry about your grammar use, before you worry about me.

And that's it 😌.

Background music: Omo I love the way you roll it. See how you control it. Girl, you have what I'm looking for e...

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

It's been a wonderful show. I hope you laughed and had an all around great time reading this even though most of it was waffling and on-the-spot.

Please, leave your comments and share to your friends so they can laugh too.

Recommend topics o! 😂

I love you all. Love yourself, show some love, and don't forget that God loves you.

See y'all at the next show!

Ciao.

Rousing applause as I walk off stage.