ACT 15: POETRY BREAK

 Round of applause as the lights come on.

*voiceover*
For the fifth show this year... I present to you a poem. That's it.

It promises to be great, unless it sucks, which I doubt it would, but that's not the point. Keep scrolling, keep your eyes peeled for the punchlines and if you don't laugh... I mean... I tried.

Without further ado, I present... Me!

Curtains open

Background music: Mike Amiri, Mike Amiri. Billie Jean, Billie Jean, uh. Christian Dior Dior. I'm up in all the stores. When it rains it pours. She like the way I rrrrrrrrr...

I walk out to the mic... I hear applause in my head even though I know you ain't clapping.

Hello! Wow.

More applause.

It's finally February. Yes!

I've seen you all complain about January being long and all. I didn't notice. 😂

Plus, good news...

FG and NIMC are further disgracing themselves 😂 Deadline has been extended again 🥴😂. I sha thank God. I don't have NIN and I shan't stress myself to get one. Mine shalt be done with ease. 😌

Also, please, wear a nose mask when you're outside, and if you don't have a reason to go out, stay inside.

Na God I take beg you. No use agidi spoil everybody own.

Another round of applause.

But enough with that. What do you say we try to bring some fun into your day with a poem?

More cheers from the audience

How could this possibly go wrong? 😂

I sip from my red cup that is filled with pepsi. I set the cup down on the stool and balance in front of the mic.

Alright...

The lights dim.

The spot light shines on me.

I take a deep breath in.

I let it out, opening my eyes to look at all your judging faces.

I take two steps towards the mic and hold it.

...

...

...

My name is Tina.

I come from Argentina.

I drink Maltina.

To make me thinner.

I take a bow as the curtains close.

No applause.

The curtains open back up and I walk back up to the mic, smiling.

Y'all really didn't think that was it, did ya?

Anyway, this poem is titled PICK UP.

...

Wos wos wobi.

Wobi wobi wos wos.

Sister, come closer.

E get something wey I wan yarn you.

Make I no lie, as I dey so,

Na your matter dey my mind

And I reason say e no go good

If I no halla you.

You see that time wey I first sight you,

Na die I dey,

But as my eyes just take locate you,

Omo mehn, instant happiness.

Why you dey laugh me?

You think say na joke.

I for say make you ask my guys,

But these days, you no fit trust them.

I no go even too sweet talk you.

Make I just go straight to the point.

I want make us two start dey relate,

Make I love you, make you love me too.

As I dey so, I go wait.

I no go too disturb you.

I get patience scatter

And my love full ground.

All you gats do na to gree for me

And I go shower you with love,

But we never too know each other,

So make I introduce myself.

My name is David

And you are?

...

Deafening round of applause as I hit the Woah.

Thank you! Yeah!

Wrote that poem in 2019. It's in my unreleased anthology, and I don't know if I'm gonna release it. 😂

Sha, there you have it!

Background music: She whine it for me. I like the way she go down low. I'm feeling her body and soul. I wanna take her home...

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

It's been a wonderful show. I hope you laughed and had an all around great time reading this even though it's not the comedy routine y'all have come to be accustomed with.

I've done comedy afternoons for the last two months, so I thought to give it a break and spring something on y'all. Hope it worked.

Please, leave your comments and share to your friends so they can laugh too.

Recommend topics for the comedy shows o! 😂 You people won't hear now. By the time I run out of material, you will know.

P.S. I have a podcast where I talk on music and curate songs based on artists, themes, genres, time periods, or moods.

You've read my comedy routines. How about giving my actual voice a shot? I get playful on some episodes, so you should enjoy it.

Listen to My Top 10 Countdown on https://anchor.fm/david-dada

I love you all. Love yourself, show some love, and don't forget that God loves you.

See y'all at the next show!

Ciao.

Rousing applause as I walk off stage.