ACT 18: Can I Make You Laugh?: You've been zoned.

 Before we proceed:

This is somewhat factual. It is also not intended to offend. Psyche! Get in your feelings πŸ˜‚ Any resemblance to actual people or events is somewhat intentional. 

Let's goooo.

Round of applause as the lights come on.

For the eighth show this year... I present an afternoon of comedy tagged: Can I make you laugh?

It promises to be great, unless it sucks, which I doubt it would, but that's not the point. Keep scrolling, keep your eyes peeled for the punchlines and if you don't laugh... I mean... I tried.

Without further ado, I present... Me!

Curtains open

Background music: Bad belle dem, dem plenty for town eh, dem plenty for town. Gbegborun dem plenty for town eh, dem plenty for town. looku looku dem plenty for here. Oya see dem, see dem, dem go plenty for here eh.

I walk out to the mic... I hear applause in my head even though I know you ain't clapping.

Hello! Wow.

More applause.

It's February 25. February is gone!

Also, this is coming a day late. Nobody even remembered that my show didn't air yesterday. E go be sha.

For my regular PSA, please, if you're going out, wear a nose mask when you're outside, and if you adon't have a reason to go out, stay inside.

Na God I take beg you. No use agidi spoil everybody own.

Another round of applause.

But enough with that. What do you say we try to bring some fun into your day with another afternoon of comedy?

More cheers from the audience

How could this possibly go wrong? πŸ˜‚

I sip from my red cup that is filled with pepsi. I set the cup down on the stool and take the mic off the mic stand.


First off, I have realized that only those people who have the weirdest tastes come after you when you shake their table πŸ˜‚ From those that like mist mag, to those that like Semo, to those that can ever bear to drink Bigi, and lastly, Nasco cornflakes people.

Every time I shake a table, there's always that cultist that decides that they have to stand up for their cause πŸ˜‚ I'm sorry oh, but I said what I said. πŸ˜‚

Second, me, as I am, I'm a hypocrite. Why? I eat Nasco cornflakes. Yes. It's readily available, so, I eat it. Wahala for who no fit diss himself o πŸ˜‚

Takes another sip from my cup while only Cloak claps for me.

Me to Cloak: I see you.

Now, talking about things I am, here's one more...

I'm a gossip.

Yes. πŸ˜‚ If you sing Amebo, curry curry, chicken yansh, telephone wire, look at you, talking to me, no respect, Indian ponmo, mallam wife, African yansh, I'll have only two things to say.

1. why am I two types of yanshes?

2. I'm not okay with being called a mallam's wife. Still very single, thank you very much πŸ˜‚.

Audience cheers.

Nah, cause for real, I am a big gossip. I like gist. If you tell me you have gist, you'll have my 99% undivided attention. The other 1% of my undivided attention is out, sourcing for more gossip πŸ˜‚. It is what it is.

But, it's because of my gossiping bad habit that I am quite knowledgeable about a couple of things.

For example, I can tell that almost everyone of you has received a message that can be summarized as "You've been zoned." πŸ˜‚ You can't deny it.

The funny part is, there are so many different zones. The new ones are even the most outlandish.

We know the regular sibling zone, or friend zone. "You're like a friend to me", "You're like a brother to me", yen yen yen.

The height of that sibling zone one is the twin sister zone. πŸ˜‚ My friend, Prisca, was zoned like this.  πŸ˜‚ Don't worry, I have permission to tell this story, and trust me, you don't know who she is, so...  πŸ˜‚

Anyway, she liked this guy, but he saw her as his twin sister. E-margin. πŸ˜‚ Sha, she's happy now because he was dating a girl that turned out to be his cousin. πŸ˜‚ Not exactly nice, but some of us find joys in the dark things of life.

Takes another sip of my drink as y'all clap.

If you think Prisca's own is bad, let me tell you about this my other friend. πŸ˜‚ My guy was put in three zones at once: friend, elder brother, and for a limited edition zone, baby daddy zone.

Y'all cheer for him and I'm just shaking my head.

Relax  πŸ˜‚ baba wasn't going to hit. He was just going to donate. πŸ˜‚ E dey pain.

Me that I'm talking, I used to call some girls sister in the Lord. That's a proper zone with intentions. I'm repented now sha. πŸ˜‚

As for me, if I'm zoned, I won't notice. Why? I don't go in with expectations. You can't disappoint who you no appoint. Fhink abourit πŸ˜‚

Sha, one day, I'll be husband zoned, and it'll be over for all of you. Better rush me now. 😌

Background music: I got some stunning shades on, Prada on my back, Louis on my feet, Gucci on my wrist, I'm a big boy. They hate on me cos I'm a big boy...

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

It's been a wonderful show. πŸ˜‚. I hope you laughed and had an all around great time reading this.

Please, leave your comments and share to your friends so they can laugh too.

Recommend topics for the comedy shows o! πŸ˜‚ You people won't hear now. By the time I run out of material, you will know.

P.S. I have a podcast where I talk on music and curate songs based on artists, themes, genres, time periods, or moods.

You've read my comedy routines. How about giving my actual voice a shot? I get playful on some episodes, so you should enjoy it.

Listen to My Top 10 Countdown on

See y'all at the next show!


Rousing applause as I walk off stage.


  1. Oomph. I've been caught. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ’”

  2. I recommend gen z and millennial fashion sense as a topic

  3. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚husband zoned.


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